This week I’ve relished three fantastic running experiences:
- a longer than planned long slow distance run
- an interval session where my Garmin stopped bothering to pace me causing me to go faster with every interval and
- a Friday night toughie where I kept going for 6.5 miles at a decent speed with hill after hill
I think my running mojo is back. In the meantime, to take the edge off all this positivity, let’s go through my top three list of all things I either question, or maybe even hate about running and runners:
1. Bananas – yes, the national fruit of the running nation, the jauntily curved Devil’s fruit. Of course, I know they’re jam packed with carbohydrates, they help hydration and have magnesium, potassium, calcium and protein aplenty. They keep your liver’s glycogen store nicely topped up and help prevent cramping and strengthen bones. So, why do they make me wretch and have such a nasty, pulpy texture? One day, maybe I will receive a blow to the head, forget about my bananaphobia, down a couple of bunches, pull on my running shoes and actually win stuff
2. Triathletes – now hang on, I don’t hate triathletes per se. My much fitter, faster significant other is a triathlete. I’ve been known to swim, cycle and run consecutively (only once, I grant you) and those Brownlee boys astound me with their world domination. No, it’s triathletes who enter running races I’m none too keen on. The ones who turn up for a Parkrun in their lycra all in one tri-suit with some oh-so-witty pun printed on it usually substituting the word “tri” for, hang on, yes, it’s coming to me, hahahaha “try”!!! I barely managed a marathon, so I readily admit that doing one Ironman style, after swimming across a Great Lake and cycling across a continent is one hell of an achievement. Yet, halfway through a half marathon, spotting one of those Ironman tattoos on the back of someone’s calf is such a motivation for me and my petty prejudice. I’m proud to say I’ve run two half marathons faster than a couple of unsuspecting Ironmen, who to this day will not be thankfully unaware of how they spurred me on.
3. Boxer Runners – I love those first summer runs, me. The ones which make you finally ditch the tights and wooly hats and whenever possible, run in little more than shorts and a t-shirt. It’s at this time of year that I start to notice the boxer runners. I assume they’re boxers and a run dressed in a load of layers seems to be part of their training regime. Or maybe I just don’t regulate my body temperature very well. I don’t hate them, mainly as if they were to find out, they might choose to whup my ass. I question them. Boxer Runners come out at the height of the heatwave, when even a technical vest feels like a layer too many and the sweat’s pouring out of every pore. Boxer runners cope with the oppressive sunshine by wearing a couple of sweatshirts, a hoody with hood up, nice fleecy jogging bottoms, hi-tops and ideally, a cagoule and waterproof trousers. I suspect their long runs are very long runs, and when the plastic trousers are finally removed, you can hear the sweat gushing onto the floors of the mythical gyms above East End pubs that they probably hang out at. Why do they do it? Is there some kind of science behind this deliberately making running as tortuous as possible?
I could go on, but that’s enough negativity for now. I’ve got a short list of future running “hates” and incredulities on the go so watch this space if you’re not a fan of raised kerbs, trios of pedestrians, motivational quotes or running while holding stuff.